Coaching for overthinkers

There are currently no statistics for the number of people affected by over-thinking, but overthinking is prevalent in those suffering with anxiety and stress. Back in 2018 the Mental Health Foundation found 74% of UK adults felt so stressed at some point during that year, that they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope. Whilst the survey was eight years ago, there is no reason to believe that this figure will have reduced. So it would certainly seem that overthinking is a key issue for many people.

An overthinker is someone who dwells excessively and repetitively on thoughts, worries, and potential negative outcomes. They become stuck in unproductive mental loops that often stem from anxiety, perfectionism, or past experiences, making it hard to focus, relax, or make decisions. They often replay past events, imagine worst-case scenarios, and analyse situations to the point of paralysis, instead of moving toward solutions or peace of mind.

When coaching an over-thinker, the coach needs to understand that the coachee is an over-thinker and understand how to coach such a person.

Outside of helping the coachee meet their professional and/or personal objectives, the coach should help the coachee with their over-thinking, which in turn will help them be able to work towards their objectives.

  • Identifying over-thinking patterns, such as when the coachee’s mind spirals and starts to catastrophise, assuming the worst case scenario will happen.
  • Challenging negative thoughts – the coach can help the coachee question their assumptions and reframe negative thoughts so they become more balanced and realistic ones. To help this, the coach can ask for evidence of why the coachee believes their assumptions and negative thoughts, encouraging them to explore alternative possibilities.
  • Teaching coping strategies – the coach will want to encourage the coachee to consider and practise coping strategies, such as mindfulness, journaling and grounding techniques which can interrupt the overthinking cycle.
  • Encouraging action – very often overthinking leads to decision paralysis. The coach will want to encourage the coachee to identify small, manageable actions to break the cycle, moving the coachee’s focus from finding a perfect solution to identifying a decision that is good-enough, which enables the coachee to learn from the outcome.
  • Encouraging self-trust and self-compassion – through encouraging the coachee to make decisions and take action, the coach is helping the coachee build confidence in their own judgment and practise self-compassion, helping them to reduce self-doubt and the fear of making decisions and mistakes.
  • Providing accountability – part of the role of the coach is to provide accountability, providing an environment for the coachee to share their thoughts and concerns in a non-judgmental space.

It may feel worrying to coach an over-thinker. However, the skills required to coach an over-thinker are the same as needed to coach others:

  • Active listening and empathic communication – listening and checking that you understand the coachee’s views and thoughts, and ensuring that you do not show any judgment – creating a safe space for the coachee. This leads to the building of trust and rapport, which is essential for coaching.
  • Powerful questioning – coaches need to use open-ended, thought-provoking questions, helping the coachee to explore their behaviours and thoughts.
  • Goal setting techniques – coaches should encourage coachees to set SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound. They will also want to guide the coachee in identifying obstacles and positive steps around the obstacles, building resilience and developing coping strategies.
  • Emotional intelligence – it is essential when coaching anyone that the coach demonstrates emotional intelligence, providing emotional and behavioural support. This is particularly important for over-thinking coachees.
  • Stress-reduction practices – it is important for everyone, in particular those suffering with over-thinking, to understand how to reduce stress. Where coaches are not equipped themselves to support the coachee in stress-reduction practices, they will want to be able to point the coachee to other suitable resources.

Generally a good coach can easily coach someone who suffers from over-thinking. However, where the coach feels that the coachee needs additional support for their over-thinking, the coach should encourage the coachee to find someone who can support these additional needs.